Thoughts on Sexual Assault, 8 Years Since I Reported
Sexual assault is such a bummer of a subject matter that nobody really wants to talk about. I get it. But I can assure you that experiencing sexual assault is exponentially worse than talking about it, so we’re going to talk about it.
It’s been 3 years since I got some justice for my sexual assault in college, and 8 years since I graduated from college. I want to note that when I say “my sexual assault,” what I really mean is “ONE of the many sexual assault experiences I had, but the only one I reported.” Of this single case I chose to report, it took 5 years for anything to happen – and nothing would have happened had I not stepped in and vigorously advocated for myself. You can read my story about this here.
All that “justice” really meant was a recognition of what happened to me. It wasn’t an apology, it wasn’t a recompense, it was simply a legal acknowledgment. That’s the bare minimum – yet it was like I had won the lottery with how infrequent that even happens for survivors. And it was barely justice.
The fact that we, as societies, hardly ever hold sexual assailants accountable is indicative of patriarchy still smeared into the fibers of humanity. And it stinks.
Nobody deserves what has happened to me and has happened to so many other women.
One in five women in the United States experienced completed or attempted rape during their lifetime.
One in five women in the United States experienced completed or attempted rape during their lifetime.
That is why I involved myself in advocating for the victims of sexual assault from the high school I attended (Kirkwood High School in St. Louis, Missouri).
Decades of Sexual Abuse at My Old High School
An investigation revealed a history of over 50 years of sexual abuse by at least 30 perpetrators.
My Honors Pre-calculus teacher was one of the perpetrators. No, I was not one of his victims, gratefully. But I know exactly what it’s like to not be believed and not to be taken seriously by the people you’re supposed to trust. I know what it’s like to be merely placated rather than see legitimate justice.
So when high school alumni survivors of the abuse started coming forward, I was ready to stand with them.
Long story made short; Kirkwoodians don’t want to hear about it, don’t want to do anything with holding accountable perpetrators and those who helped cover for them.
Why We Have to Talk About It Publicly
Nobody has to participate in a conversation about sexual abuse. But simply silencing the conversation because it makes some people uncomfortable can no longer be an option.
I talk about sexual assault in therapy. I talk about it in safe spaces too. But there are larger conversations we need to have as a community.
The emotional burden of experienced sexual abuse is not a burden that survivors should shoulder alone. Sexual abuse is made possible due to systemic enabling factors – namely, remaining silent when abuse occurs – therefore it must be addressed as a communal issue.
How You Can Support Sexual Assault Survivors
You can sign this petition to hold accountable the administrators about this history of sexual assault in the Kirkwood schools.
You can educate yourself about sexual violence.
In the US, you can donate to RAINN (Rape Abuse & Incest National Network), one of the largest anti-sexual violence organizations in the nation.
If you’re experiencing sexual assault, you can contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline (1-800-656-6473) or chat with them.